Wednesday, June 06, 2018

Mixed up matters

1990. Guwahati. The chef peeked through the doorway. He saw me and he tried to quietly scoot. I wasn't going to give him that option. In my hand was a sheet. The sheet had a menu. The menu had an item Veg Missmissi. I wanted to know what in the name of Lord was this item. He edgily crept up to my table. So, my office room was this huge room with a huge table bang in the middle. One chair behind the desk and two chairs in front. No book racks or anything like that. Godrej steel file drawers on my right far corner. Yellow lamps above. And a tube light on my opposite wall. One brown curtain at the sole window. And a huge chart that was pasted to my left wall where every event of the next three months was written in boxes. Each box representing one day of the month. Like a large calendar with things written in it. I used to spend a lot of time walking in front of this chart with a pencil. It was my way of showing I did work. The chef stood behind the left guest chair. I motioned him to sit. I was still standing and so he did not want to sit. But I insisted. So he sat. He took out his corrugated paper chef cap and kept it on the table. It was sweat lined on the bottom and he kept that side on the table. So, I knew I had to wipe the table after he left. Missmissi. Yes, what's that. I asked. He was Assamese. From the Bodo side of things. So, he had a sinsong shrill voice. Most of them sing well is what I knew. He started off on an explanation. First take onion. Chop. Then take carrot. Dice. Then take beans. Dice. Then take green peas. Put. Then take Aloo. Dice. Then take Gobi. Make small flowers. Put. Green capsicum. Dice. Take kadhai. Put oil. Put green chilli and garam masala. Dhania powder. Ginger garlic paste. Cook. After oil comes on top, put onions, after making onions colourless, put all diced vegetables. Aloo boil a bit and put. Chilly powder and turmeric required. Put. Chop pineapple and keep. Dice fresh tomato and keep. When all other things ready, put them too. Little more stirring. Finish. Garnish with Dhania patta. I was, by then, glowering at him. I said, whatever you have told me is between a normal veg curry and a navratan curry. Exactly in between. He says, yeah, exactly. It is in between. In hotel everyday I have veg curry being made and sometimes navratan korma being made. I mix the remnants of all this and Missmissi occurs. I asked then why all this original recipe nonsense. Oh, you asked and therefore I said. I was still glowering but he did not get it. At all. To this day, I am part of ordering anything that starts with Mi in front. Mixed. Missmissi. Anything.

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