Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Main phir bhi tum ko chahunga

Main phir bhi tum ko chahunga. A cousin came home. He's a lot younger. Around my daughter's age. He had work in Bangalore. He stayed with us. That's absolutely fine. Young man at home brings a certain ebullience to the environment. He used to hear one song everyday. Loudly. Attentively. Main phir bhi tum ko chahunga. At first I thought it's a song. He likes it. So be it. Then no, I had misunderstood. It was a state of life. It was his ringtone too. He nearly closed his eyes when he heard the song. I couldn't blame him. We did the same things with "Neele Neele ambar pe" back in time. So a few days passed by. There were these ads coming on TV during the ad breaks of IPL. Amazon Echo had a nice ad. A boy, a girl and a grandma. The girl and the grandma are teasing the boy and Amazon Echo lives up the moment with a song. Main phir bhi tum ko chahunga. And then Beena, the grandma smiles. Too many things happen at the same time to me. One, Beena was a heroine in the 80s and was Anil Kapoor's love interest in a film. Brilliant smile she had and still has. I am reminded of my age. I am also pleased to know that a pure bred love song from Hindi cinema still prevails among all the Clarksons and Athenas and Katys. I am very displeased to know that boys secretly love this self flagellation of a song. Main phir bhi tum ko chahunga. I still don't remember the film it's from. Google helpfully tells me that it's from Half Girlfriend. What did I expect? Illustrious men behind this miracle. Chetan Bhagat, the writer of the book. Arjun Kapoor, the actor. Then Arijit Singh. Women like him for obvious reasons and that's completely okay with me. Long sighs. Sonorous. Languid singing. Women feeling the comfort of intimacy with his ballads. All very fine. Men. How does Arijit figure in their heads. Like a typical Kishore or even Sanu enthusiast, I debunked him for a while. Naah, every song similar. That he disproved over the past couple of years. Same scales. He tried some stuff with Bhansali with different scales that I listened to the other day and he looked quite accomplished. But what's it that has clicked with men? After seeing the cousin it came to me. Lost loves. Boys become men over lost loves. We had our "Meri bheegi bheegi si" and they have "Main phir bhi tum ko chahunga". If there's a Kannada version, please relay to Yeddy. He wants to sing it to that chair. CM's chair.

Monday, May 21, 2018

Mad Max Infinity War

The boy has s lemon green tee shirt on him. On his back is emblazoned "Big Basket". He swerves into the traffic with his bike. He cannot brave it through. Gets stuck. In front of my cab. Cab is Ola. Big Basket looks strangely at Ola. He thinks it is Ola's fault that he is stuck. Ola is thinking he's travelling straight on a straight road. Though the road has all the attributes of classic Bangalore post nuclear dystopia. Potholes, ravines and crevices. Stuck vehicles, drooping electricity poles and loose stoned and sand thrown on the sides of the road. Even Mad Max wouldn't be able to traverse this. Ola has a job on hand. And then this. Big Basket. Wheel in front of wheel. Which wheel shall go first? May the best man win? No, they don't go out and have a duel. The duel happens through eyes. Sullen piercing eyes of Big Basket bores into Ola. Ola's bloodshot angry arrack laden eyes bore into Big Basket. The eyes devour. The eyes shove. The eyes make ten cars behind both of them go up 300 meters into the air with Rajanikanth fuelled 70 mm disruption. The eyes swivel buses ahead. Men fall down from 20 floor above in nearby dystopian towers by the force of those eyes. Then I, spoiler of Mad Max Infinity War, ask Ola to go back a bit and allow Big Basket to go. He does that with a roaring grunt. World War Z is averted. I am not there in the Vidhan Soudha. Wonder who's managing it there.

Sunday, May 20, 2018

Frozen shoulder

Frozen shoulder. 1999. Ma is in Goa. One morning she is unable to lift anything with her left hand. Kind of stuck. She is taken to a doctor. Now Ma manages a very pained face when doctor starts with her. Then, to my dismay, she is not able to keep that pained face constant. She alternates between straight face and pained face. Doctor is also confused. Where is the pain? I helpfully put in that she, Ma, isn't able to lift anything with her left hand. The doctor is probing away here and there in search of a muscular disorder. Nothing. Ma is responding with yelps at inconsistent places. I see that she's yelped differently for the same place when the doctor has come back to press that spot after a few pokes elsewhere. It's like poke-ah, poke-ah, poke-ooh. Then back to spot 1 and viola, poke-ooh. The doctor is shaking head. I am also inwardly shaking head. We know injury is there but Ma's confused signals are helping none of us. Elaborate stuff with opening and closing fingers start. Till ten minutes before the examination, her fingers were absolutely fine. Suddenly her fingers were creating closing issues. Wrapping issues. Unwrapping issues. Very confusing. Like world weary pianists with misshapen fingers. Or truncated guitarists in mid concert jabs at the crowds. Suddenly the perfect hand had become something out of The Omen. I staring at hand. Hand staring and shivering at me. Doctor looking agape at me. Me helplessly looking at doctor. Ma oblivious. With extreme pained face. Anyway, the doctor after trying to remember all his medical lessons arrives at fact that it is a frozen shoulder probably. Needs physiotherapy. Physiotherapy usually gives succor to anyone who's ever tried it. Little machines and small exercises. Opens up muscles and creaky bones to newer activities. Ma yelps in pain during first physiotherapy. I patiently explain that there is nothing painful. But I know nothing. I am told so duly. I shut up. Better still, I stop going to those sessions where she has to go. Missus and others take over. Pain is gone or minimal. Over the years, I have deduced about 7 pain type faces that Ma has, specifically when I am around. I have allocated pains to each face. It helps. The Karnataka government will have it's pain type faces for us. The art will be in knowing those faces. One can negotiate better. Frozen shoulders or frozen bodies. Whichever.

Saturday, May 19, 2018

The third revolution

Remember the days when TV used to be a new thing and suddenly the mother used to come and shut it off in the midst of something good saying it's not good for the eye or the TV was getting hot, it would burst. And we would moan! Or now when we advise our children to keep their mobiles aside as it's not good for health or the nonsense it is. Saw the evolution? Humans are still getting hooked as machines and eco-systems keep evolving. And we are already at the end of the second industrial revolution. We have seen the good and yet now people do not have work and there's a huge imbalance in the way the capitalist world has shared the spoils, the wealth and the resources. But there's hope. We are at the door of the third industrial revolution. This will not be country specific and this will not be capitalist centric. So, paupers can hope to rejoice. The third industrial revolution shall be the shared economy industrial revolution. The specific revolutions shall be with communication, power and transportation. Look at the past. The first industrial revolution happened because of the telegraph and steam engine. The second happened because of the telephone, electricity and car. Test telephone enabled us to speak long distances. The electricity liberated the way we worked, lived and performed. The car, of course, became the symbol of prosperity and is transportation too. Note, I put transportation second. And prosperity first. Especially, for India. Now, the third revolution is upon us. The communication internet has fast forwarded our thoughts, made us a global human village, sharing everything every second and most of it is free. Data usage is a small price to pay for such human sharing. Large impact, small carbon footprint, very less cost and happiness to almost all. We can share thoughts, music, movies, documents, papers, photographs, news, information, decisions and events as we live our own lives wherever. Even a village with two goats and a man can have the same resources as a business biggie in New York. The power internet is being created as we speak. Small kits of solar energy for homes. Small wind energy modules for a village. Solar farms for a community. Very less cost. Low maintenance. Small carbon footprint. Ceaseless energy from sun and wind. Share with the grid. Make money too. Contributory. Community service and evolved sharing. Get grid benefits as you travel thus saving money even during travel. Share, be social and co-create energy for every living being. All very nature friendly. So, no more tree cutting. Cheap and affordable power. Actually, near free. Don't be surprised if it will be like data, some paltry hundred bucks. Times are coming. The transportation internet has already begun by car sharing. The millennials don't want to buy cars. They hail transport and travel at opportune costs from point A to B. We used shared autos in some cities before and started the share economy. Now they have brought us apps to do it anywhere and everywhere. We will share cars, buses, trucks, planes and hyperloops to move ourselves swiftly. And move our goods even more swiftly. Trucks and buses shall also become mobile transponders and collect data about weather, communities, social networks and infrastructure on the roads they travel enabling people to plan more and deliver better. The transportation internet will bring us swiftly to each other's doorstep at low costs. Our goods will come to us at very low costs. Then, we can question ourselves. Why do I need the apples from Simla? Or Kiwi from NZ? We will use all the cheap stuff I mentioned above to create our own farms and control our produce, organic and fresh. We bring down cost of food. That's the ultimate. It will happen. People and governments all over the world are doing it. So, you will ask about employment? In India, that's a pertinent question. Engineers will be employed to make the three internets happen. The farms will turn high tech and they also will be needed in them. Data security, data flow and data analytics will get real time and enormous. People will get employed there. Content creation, agriculture, social development, education, social caring, green tech, food, healthcare, animal care, media, hardware tech, crafts and community development will create new and evolved jobs. In essence, people will stop migrating. There will be reverse migration. People will go back to villages. There will be much better income there. They will make their own water, electricity and food. Easily. With less money. And have time to spare. The village economy that will propel our nation in the coming years. So people, get hold of lands and start building your smart farms. Was I able to help you see a great future? Isn't it great? Remember, no government can undo this. It's competition, it's compelling and it's financial sense. *Do share if you think it's necessary

Thursday, May 17, 2018

The midnight happenings

Many things happen at midnight. We achieved independence at this hour. Shahenshah walked the streets at this hour. The cops with the breathalyzers go home at this hour. Some Bengali households cook dinner at this hour. In Mumbai, back in the mid 80s, the dhows used to come in at this hour. Then, in the shadows, things used to be transferred to small cabs and trucks. It's how many friends got their Rolexes back then. Or their Henessy VSOPs. In Calcutta of then, the wall writing or graffiti work would start at this hour. The colours would be brought to the local party office by the evening. The brushes would be steeped in turpentine. The artist would come and inspect what he had to. And then, sleep for a bit. 11.30 pm, he would be shrugged awake. Then, at midnight, he and an assistant with a ladder would trudge out. The usual light was a hurricane lamp. That would be held by the assistant as the artist would work on the wall. If it was CPM, then lots of red and black would be there. If it was Congress, then lots of Green, saffron and blue would be there. The other saffron had still not been in cogue there then. And the other blue wasn't in existence. Of course, a lot has changed since then. The BPOs even have a shift that starts at 12 am. It caters to God knows which nation from then. But the IT parks are lit through the night. The mini buses ferry groggy kids through the night. They call it the graveyard shift. Earlier, only the press used to do such stuff. And land up at all night coffee shops for a beer and a late meal. The press was awake through the night and the early morning today. Call it landmark or whatever, today is the day that we will refer to, when we look back at a changed India of the near future. A constitutional change. For better or worse, we are at the inflection point. Caused by moral and material corruption.

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Fidgety geniuses

Don't you think fidgety people are geniuses? I do think. It means they have a crazy mind in overdrive. They touch things, shove them about, wonder what is happening or what could happen. Do analysis right there about the thing and it's requirement. Murmur things. Then abruptly move on. Let's start with popular fidgeting fellows. Dinesh Kartik. Ever watched him closely. He'd like a cat on a hot tin roof. Nothing is constant about him. Thumping glove fingers on thighs. Thumping feet on ground. Walking about. Stopping. Cocking the head to some direction that's unwarranted. He does all. Sometimes all at once. Then, he is moving his eyes constantly. Never settling on one thing. As a captain probably that's a need. But a team member watching him, it would be difficult. Watching a man with so many inner things going on. Shahrukh Khan, his boss at KKR is another fidgety guy. Same traits nearly. Constantly moving fingers. Through hair. Gesticulating. Talking. Drumming fingers. Nervous energy oozing out. Palpably awash with ideas. Can't stand still. Needs to go and get it. If possible. Someone I know is also the same. She will sit in a car and it is mayhem. Every radio station is punched within the next ten minutes. The auxiliary cord is shoved into a mobile phone and a playlist is played. Then, the cord is pulled out and thrown off. The AC is increased. Then decreased. The slats is moved in every direction possible. The glove compartment is opened up. Finally, she is hungry. But they are geniuses, as I said. They are thinking ahead. You know about Shahrukh and Dinesh. The lady in question is also a genius. The person accompanying her in the car realises in minutes. Her ideas and solutions are extraordinary. Even the road routes she takes are extraordinary. All, with thumping music. That itself is genius. Thinking amidst thumping music. I will now keep an eye on such fidgety people. Is Kumaraswamy also fidgety? Because what's happened is also genius level, isn't it?

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Sacrificial goats

Missus back from Kitty party. Showing pictures. Can't say anything. Will be blasphemy. Other women there. Women in Tanuja and Tina Munim poses. Cannot say she looking like Tanuja. Hanikaarak Bapu will have another meaning then. Telling about food. Mainland China. Soups, courses. Desserts. On buffet. Men feeling very deprived. Like fly in soya. Tossed out into waste bins type. Men want three course meal at least. A cotelette, a thermidor and a zabaglione will do fine. Even without a Merlot on the side. And if Merlot there, slightly chilled. Yeah, if wishes were horses. Men get light food in the evening. Because Missus had heavy food in Kitty party in the afternoon. Chaat. That's way light. Lighter than light. With sprouts within. Men have to see series on Amazon Prime and eat so that they forget what had been eaten. See, men also sacrifice. Or become sacrificial goats. Some, with beards. Not funny.