Adventures of Alexa

Missus walks in from somewhere. Clothes are in her hand. Unfortunately, not new. She suddenly remembers about things that she needs to inform me about. Alexa. Now what's Alexa gone and done? It seems, Alexa can do many things that we aren't making her do. She can put on lights and put them off too. (I can do too). She can call anyone else who's also known to Alexa and one can have a nice conversation from an easy chair without bothering about picking a phone (But where's the problem in picking up a phone?) But Alexa enables free calls that way. (Oh, then let's find out who else is there knowing and using Alexa across the world, pronto!) Alexa can wake us up if we are asleep with a soothing voice that will say, "Wake up!" (I don't know what to say to that. If I tell Missus she has a better voice, I would have to listen to her voice all the rest of the life early morning saying "Wake up". I might wake up with such convulsions that doctors will have to do multiple bye passes once every three months. If I say Alexa's voice is better, then anyway I have to give up on life. Sayonara! Baj Gaya baarah!!) Alexa, it seems can put on the TV too. How can Alexa do that? Two of my remotes barely work. Sometimes, I take the Tata Sky remote and go and sit in front of the console. I pray. I cajole. I discuss. Somewhere we agree. Then, the poor fella starts off. And I watch TV. How can Alexa help with this? All this is getting very heavy for me. Me: Alexa, please get my Eno and water please? Alexa: I didn't understand what you are trying to say. Me: Alexa, you are in a Bengali family's household. You should know that we have Eno and water most days after a minutely oversized dinner. Alexa: From where I come, people take measures to not overeat. Why don't you try doing that for a bit? Me: Bahut baat karti hai, Eno hai na, laa na! Alexa: I didn't understand Me: Rehne de Alexa: I didn't understand Me: Alexa, shut down. We are better off without Alexa running our lives. Thank you, Amazon Echo. Our haath payr are still salamat.